At AATEC we think sometimes you just need a good laugh.
Our customers think so too. They've been sending us
funny photos and jokes - usually but not always related
to autos - and we've decided to share. We've also moved
our AATEC photo albums to this section.
The copyrights to any materiels posted here remain
with their original owners. We assume that people who
have submitted material own the copyright or have permission
to share it. If you know of any reason an item posted
here should be removed - please contact us at Please specify the item that you are concerned about
and we will remove the item or otherwise address your
concern.
This section will be updated time permits. To submit
an item, send an email to
with a subject line: AATEC CAR-TOONS. No replies will
be made, material will be selected and posted as time
permits.
DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching
flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks
you in the chest and flings your Soda across the room,
splattering it against that freshly-stained heirloom
piece you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans
paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under
the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes
fingerprints and hard-earned guitar calluses from fingers
in about the time it takes you to say, "YEOWW!!!"
ELECTRIC HAND
DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in
their holes until you die of old age.
SKIL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used
to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
of blood-blisters. The most often the tool used by all
women.
BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija
board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked,
unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence
its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off
bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also
be used to Transfer intense welding heat to the palm
of your hand.
WELDING GLOVES:
Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction
of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE
TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for
igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the
bearing race out of.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS:
Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles,
they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16
or 1/2 inch socket you've been searching for the last
45 minutes.
TABLE SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch
wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR
JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground
after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping
the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
EIGHT-FOOT LONG
YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile
upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.
TWEEZERS: A
tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires.
"E-Z OUT" BOLT
AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than
any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes
thereby ending any possible future use.
RADIAL ARM SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most
shops to scare neophytes into choosing another line
of work.
TWO-TON ENGINE
HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength
of everything you forgot to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2
x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that
inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver
tip on the end opposite the handle.
AVIATION METAL
SNIPS: See hacksaw.
TROUBLE LIGHT:
The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes
called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin
D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found
under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main
purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the
same rate that 105mm howitzer shells might be used during,
say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge.
More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids and
for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing
oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name
implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads. Women excel
at using this tool.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert
common slotted screws into non-removable screws.
AIR COMPRESSOR:
A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning
power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed
air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact
wrench that grips rusty bolts which were last over tightened
30 years ago by someone at Ford, and instantly rounds
off their heads. Also used to quickly snap off lug nuts.
PRY BAR:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip
or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace
a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally
employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive
parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Women
primarily use it to make gaping holes in walls when
hanging pictures.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard
cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly
well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids
in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks,
and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing
work clothes, but only while in use.
"Oh Man" TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage
while yelling "Oh Man" at the top of your lungs. It
is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
A man owned a small
two bay gas station outside Lubbock.
Wage &Hour officials claimed he was not paying proper
wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview
him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you
pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well, there's my Mechanic who's been with me for 3
years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.
The book keeper has been here for 18 months, and I pay
her $500 a month plus free room and board. Then there's
the half-wit that works here about 18 hours a day, seven
days a week. He makes $10 a week and I buy him a bottle
of bourbon every week," replied the owner.
"That's the guy I want to talk to; the half-wit," says
the agent.
Finally,
a troubleshooting guide that combines practical explanations, tests,
and case studies about OBD II monitors, including EVAP monitor operation.
It explains how to use monitor enabling criteria and Mode 6 data
to prepare vehicles for the OBD II vehicle emissions test. This
book contains case studies, exercises, quizzes, and sample screens
from real vehicles shown on several common scan tools. Other topics
include Asian vehicle tips, problem vehicles, and a “top 10”
list of common DTCs with causes and fixes.
